A letter to myself:
If I could go back in time (and not necessarily change a thing) and have the opportunity to have an hour with myself… I would have told myself that:
It gets better. Life is SO much bigger than high school. When Mom tells you that this is just an inch out of your miles of life, she is right. Anyone who tells you that these are the best days of your life is wrong. High School should not be the best days of your life. Sure, it is nice to not have much -if any financial responsibility. Yes, it is fun to be able to do whatever you want, eat whatever you want, play sports, do music, theatre, hang out with your friends… the world is at your fingertips. But, the drama – the rules, they all can go away. You can change your life, your course of direction. There is a certain empowerment to having responsibility and growing as an adult. There is a certain freedom to choosing all of your friends and what you do with your time. There is a certain energy that comes with feeling fulfilled and building a successful life.
Quit feeling like you need to please everyone.
Keep your close, real friends close and keep your enemies far away. Be true to your true friends. There is no reason to drown yourself in trying to keep everyone happy or worrying about people who don’t want what is best for you.
Quit worrying about looking stupid. Everyone looks stupid in high school at some point.
Spend more time building your future than worrying about what your friends and classmates think. If you like something that is unpopular – do it, wear it, be it… quit caring what other people think; the only thing you care about is how you make them feel.
Have fun. Don’t take life so seriously that you don’t try new things… now is the time to try new things. As you get older, it is harder both physically, financially and socially to just dive into something new. People are more apt to mentor younger people. If you haven’t “found yourself” yet, it is okay – everything you do is getting you there. If you take yourself too seriously, no one else will be able to take you seriously.
It is okay to dislike high school, but try your hardest to make the most of it.
You were right for not giving into peer pressures of any stupid nonsense. Yes, part of a teenagers rite of passage is to be young & dumb – but, don’t feel like you’re cooler for playing the’ passing out game’, smoking, huffing, taking diet pills… it is all bullshit.
Keep that backbone. It is okay to ask questions, to wonder if something is right or accurate – to want to know the source. So ask whatever to whomever. It doesn’t matter who you are talking to – we are all people.
Understand that many girls are jealous… be you, anyway.
Always have class. Don’t break up other relationships.
Don’t sell yourself short. Don’t give yourself away for free and try not to tempt the boys with your body, instead challenge them with your mind.
Don’t feel like you need to give yourself in order to get a guy. Be strong in this. Know that there are no “real men” in high school… a ‘man’ takes years and many experience to build. Although there can be good guys in high school and some people do find their future spouse there, most others are thankful that God blessed the broken road (from their high school relationships.)
Don’t start banter about other girls. Life is hard enough for us the way it is – we don’t need to make it harder for each other.
You’re not better than anyone else; nor is anyone else better than you. Don’t let anyone else make you feel inferior.
You don’t want to plateau in high school (physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually). You have so much more to look forward to.
Although your problems feel like they are big, (and it is not to say that you’re wrong in how you feel), try to globalize yourself to realize that most of your issues are petty, first-world problems that other people would love to be able to complain about.
Learn to let things go. Holding grudges isn’t healthy and your enemies will love to know that you’re so bothered by them.
Don’t solve temporary problems with permanent solutions. My Mom always said, sleep on it. It is amazing how one sleep, the rise of a new sun can shape the way you feel. Problems that were mountains yesterday are mole hills today.
You’ve been conditioned to think that TV is reality. It is not. You don’t have to fit into the media’s objectivity of women. Men don’t really act like that. Dates are not like The Bachelor set-ups.
Deep breath, sunshine… it all works out okay.
- High school is a short time in your life. It gets better afterward.
- Don’t worry about looking stupid, just don’t be stupid.
- You can’t please everyone.
- Be kind to others, but quit caring what they “think” of you.
- Have fun.
- Make the most of it.
- Ask questions. Make sure things make sense to you.
- Be you.
- Be classy.
- Don’t give yourself away.
- Don’t start rumors.
- We’re all equals.
- Keep growing.
- Know the world is bigger than you.
- Sleep on it. Don’t make irrational decisions based on high emotion.
- TV is not reality.